Living
by mickelus
Summary: I really hate that new ideas keep coming to me when I have so many unfinished stories (Actually, I love it!). This one begged to be written though. It's just a plot bunny for now though. Possible future Willow/Dawn relationship, but that would be telling.
1. Traditions

**Traditions**

Xander lead Willow through quiet cemetery, _They're much different in the daytime. Much more peaceful._ He mused. They talked a bit about what happened right after Tara's death, with Xander offering a good analogy about comparing magic to using a hammer. "You choke up on the handle and you have all kinds of control over what you hit, but practically no power. If you choke down to the end of the handle, you've got lots of power, but almost no control. S'all about balance." Said the construction worker.

"Yeah, that's true," Willow agreed, "But in my case, it's not mess up and smash my thumb, it's mess up and destroy my friends."

"Good point." Xander acquiesced, "Well, we're here." He gestured to Tara's grave, where a familiar brunette teen was sitting, apparently eating her lunch.

"What's Dawnie doing here?" Asked the red haired witch.

"She comes to visit Tara about every other day, sometimes uses her lunch break to come out here…I even caught her skipping class a couple times. You want me to go get her so you can visit Tara alone?"

"No, that's fine, thanks for bringing me." Willow replied as she made her way over to her girlfriend's grave, making enough noise so as to not surprise Dawn. "Hey there Dawnie." She said softly as she knelt in the grass next to the teen in front of the granite headstone.

"Oh, hi Willow." Dawn said, hurriedly closing a notebook she held, her eyes were watery, but she was refusing to let her tears flow this time. "Do you want me to leave?" She asked, clearly not ready to end her visit just yet.

"No, you don't have to go." Willow assured her with a smile.

The young woman then turned her attention to the grave marker, placing a small handful of stones atop it. "Hey," She said, leaning forward to trace the letters of her lover's name etched in the stone. "It's me." She added as she started to cry.

Dawn let Willow just cry for a few seconds, unsure if the older woman wanted to be bothered. Before long the teen couldn't take it anymore and wrapped her arms around the red head, letting her cry on her shoulder. "We miss you Tara." Dawn said, "We'll take care of your girl for you, until you get to be together again." She added after a pause as her way of letting Willow know that she was forgiven and loved.

Several minutes later, when Willow had cried herself out, Dawn let go of her and somewhat hesitantly asked, "Will, why'd you put the pebbles on her grave?"

The witch smiled, "It's a Jewish tradition, though no one really knows how it got started. One of my favorite explanations is that it's meant to try and keep the persons soul tied to earth for a bit longer, and to also ward off demons and golems. Another states that the word for pebble, tz'ror, also means bond and the stones are meant to show that the deceased's memory is bond to our spirit."

The teen contemplated Willows words, then, suddenly, broke a small crystal off her keychain and set it on the headstone, next to the pebbles Willow had set down. "I think it's a beautiful tradition, hope you don't mind." Dawn explained.

"Not at all sweetie." Willow answered as she kissed her fingers and brushed them across her soulmate's name.

The read head stood up and reached down to help the teen up, "You wanna get something to eat Dawn?"

"Oooh, how bout milkshakes." Enthused the high schooler.


	2. The Diary Of Dawn Part 1

**The Diary Of Dawn Part 1**

Several weeks had gone by since Willow's return to Sunnydale and her friends had all readjusted to her being there. She and Dawn had visited Tara's grave on several occasions, sometimes alone and sometimes together. Dawn was happy to have her red haired friend back, someone who was even closer to Tara than she and could relate to how Dawn felt. Willow would sometimes catch the teen staring at her, not like the others did when she first got back, wondering if she had truly been rehabilitated. It was a comforting look and Willow was starting to wonder what the other girl was thinking in those moments, but every time she was about to ask, Dawn would excuse herself from whatever situation.

Dawn new Willow caught her staring on several occasions, she also knew that the red head's curiosity would eventually win out and she would force Dawn to talk to her. The teen went into her room one day after school and opened her closet, "Aperito." She whispered.

As soon as the word left her mouth, a medium sized wooden box with ornate carvings appeared in the corner of the floor of her closet that, moments ago, had been empty space. She opened the lid of the box, revealing a stack of glittery, bedazzled diaries, the only pieces of her collection that had been spared being burned the night she had found out she was not actually human.

Dawn wrote a quick message on a piece of paper then tied the bundle of books together with a ribbon. The high school junior then made way across the hall to Willow's room setting the stack of books and the note where she knew Willow would find them, under a picture of Tara. Before leaving the room again, Dawn stood gazing at the picture of the deceased witch. It was a picture Dawn had actually taken, the day that everyone had spent singing their feelings. Dawn really loved Tara in that teal corset dress with the peach skirt. The young girl had caught Tara at the perfect moment, gazing across the room and over Dawn's shoulder at Willow with her patented half smile. Dawn traced her fingers across the glass that protected the image, then returned to her own room to deal with her homework.

Willow got back from her after school job that night just in time to see Buffy leave for patrol. "Hiya, Will, Dawn made mac n' cheese for supper tonight, we saved a bowl for you, it's in the microwave." Said the slayer as she went out the door.

Willow smiled, macaroni and cheese was one of her favorite meals. Tara used to make an amazing homemade sauce with pepper jack cheese. The red witch held the smile on her face as she skipped over to the microwave, reheating the bowlful of cheesy goodness. While she waited for her food, she spread her text books out on the table to take care of her homework that day. She rushed back to the microwave when the timer dinged and opened the door of the machine, freezing in place when she was struck by the familiar, spicy aroma. "How did…" Willow never finished the question as she was swept away by memories.

[flashback]

"_Tara, will you teach me how to cook?" Dawn asked flashing her best imitation of Buffy's "puppy dog" look._

"_Sure thing Dawnie. No need to bring out the big guns and beg, now put those puppy eyes away before I take you to the Humane Society as a stray." Joked the blonde witch. "What do you already know?"_

"_Nothing, mom was too scared to teach me cause of how dangerous Buffy was in the kitchen."_

[end flashback]

Willow ate the delicious meal and put a big dent in her homework after her impromptu trip down memory lane. The young woman then made her way upstairs and immediately took a shower, changing into a pair of sweats and one of Tara's old t-shirts. Willow turned away from her dresser and instantly saw the stack of books underneath her favorite picture of Tara. She walked over and carefully moved the picture off the stack, catching the note before it fell to the floor.

_Hey Willow,_

_I know you wanna know why I seem different lately, so that's why I gave my diaries to read, these are special, mom didn't even know about these, she thought I burned everything that night. Anyway, read all of these and hopefully you'll understand what's going on in my head._

_Love ya,_

_Dawnie_

Willow was confused, but shrugged as she sat on the edge of her bed taking the book from the top of the stack, marked "#1".

_April 14, 2001_

_I think I'm in love with both Willow and Tara._

Willow nearly dropped the book in surprise from that first line. The witch read it over and over several times to make sure she was seeing it right. Her breathing quickened a little, "Why are you giving me this to read, Dawnie?" She asked the empty room before she went back to reading the entry.

_I know what you're thinking, "It's just some teeny crush." And that may be part of it, but I'm have one of those rare, super mature thinking moments, that surprise even me. Maybe it's because, even with the spell those monks did, I'm still technically older than any concept of time. I can understand being attracted to either of them, they're both smart, beautiful, fun, and down to Earth women. Sure they both have some interesting quirks, but then so does everyone else in the world. I don't have any problem with being gay, or bi…I'm not exactly sure what I am just yet. I've talked to mom some about my…orientation, it was a bit awkward, but I knew with how much she clearly loved all of the Scooby gang and with how quickly she welcomed Tara to the family, that she wouldn't have a big freak out when I told her I was attracted to girls. I haven't told her my feelings for our favorite witches though, that she might freak out a little over._

After that major revelation, the rest of that book was filled with accounts of her hanging out with Willow, or Tara, or Willow and Tara. Willow glanced at her clock, it was still pretty early and she had only one late class tomorrow, so she picked up the next book, carefully opening the page.

_August 3, 2001_

_Mommies gone_

Those two words and the date were all that occupied that page and they opened the way for Willow's tears. "Oh, Dawnie…I'm so sorry sweetie." She whispered as she wiped her tears and turned the page.

_August 21, 2001_

_Dear Mom_

_I've talked to Tara a lot in the last few weeks since you died…she gave me an idea for something to do as a kind of personal memorial. Hope you appreciate it._

The remainder of the book was filled with pictures and sketches of the deceased Joyce Summer, of her alone, as well as with various member of the gang. Willow set the book down, then picked up her picture of Tara. "I'm so glad you were able to be there for Dawnie when she needed you baby. Buffy's told me about some of the things you said that helped her cope too, when Joyce died. I miss you so much my love." Willow spoke, for the first time able to hold the tears back as she remembered her lover.

The red head kissed the glass and swore she could feel fingers brushing across her lips as she did so. Shaking off the feeling, she set the picture down next to the diaries and switched off her bedside lamp as she settled under her covers and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
